I am convinced that the contagiousness of the Christian faith rests in large part on the witness of the everyday; that is, people who live the Gospel with integrity and zeal in their ordinary lives. They do not put on a show, but walk humbly. They are consistent in their character and treat all people with respect and dignity. They are selfless and genuine, prayerful, generous, trusting, kind, and joyful witnesses to the saving power of Jesus Christ. When people encounter Christians living the Gospel authentically, they can't help but say to themselves, "I want what they have." It actually exists.
That was the case when I met Dan and Missy for the first time when Debbie and I first started dating. Debbie and Missy had grown up together, attending the same grade school in Delaware. I believe it is in large part due to the prayers of Missy and her mom for my wife that she came back to the Faith, that we met, and that she was 'set aside' for me as a provision to be my wife. Missy and Angel simply never stopped praying for Debbie, never stopped gently planting seeds (with books and invitations), even when she strayed and went separate ways; she was never a 'lost cause.'
As a couple struggling to maintain the virtues of purity and chastity early in our dating relationship, Debbie and I approached Dan and Missy for help. By that point they had been married for about ten years and had learned a few things. We confided in them our struggles and they listened patiently and though they may have winced interiorly, they loved us in spite of our moral failings, and gently suggested ways to come back to wholeness. We would visit and draw on their experience of Christian love in the context of marriage many times over the years.
With four kids, a myriad of activities and homeschooling, and the demands of work as a physician, Dan and Missy never made us feel like they had no time for us. Quite the opposite; they made time by inviting us over for the everyday experiences of their family just doing life--having dinner, roasting marshmallows over a bonfire in the backyard, kids soccer games, and running errands. We were made to feel like extended family, part of an intimate and cherished unit, never a burden, always joyfully welcomed. When Debbie threw a birthday party for the dog, they were there. When the kids were baptized into God's family, they were there, even assuming the responsibility of being Monica's godparents.
Although we are rooted in different Christian faith traditions, we always felt that our beliefs were respected, never denigrated, and that they loved us, which made understanding easier. Differences, while not treated as unimportant, took a back seat to friendship in Christ and common prayer. We were always edified by Missy and Dan's witness to love. We never--never--experienced them talking bad about anyone, but focused only on building up. Their character was consistent--they were the same around us as they were in public, at work, around believers and non believers alike. To this day I still attend a men's prayer group that Dan leads every Tuesday morning at 6am. I drive half an hour to get there and a half hour back, and I have been doing so for the past five years, because it is not only edifying from a faith perspective, but rooted in male friendship and accountability. Dan's witness and personal integrity is a light on a hill, a beacon to look up to, to see what true manhood is. Whether he realizes it or not, he is both mentor, friend, and model for Christian manhood to me personally.
Dan and Missy have always gently pushed us to wager big on God, have great trust in His mighty power, and His ability to work miracles. We have seen it in their lives and, following suit, we have seen it in our own in manifestations where it was simply undeniable that God was responsible for miracles and benevolent provisions beyond our wildest expectations.
When Debbie's mom died last year, Missy and Dan and their family mourned with us, brought us food, were simply there for us. When Missy's dad passed away not long after that, we were able to return the blessing of friendship during an especially difficult time. They were the ones who showed us what true agape love looked like, and so it was not hard to emulate because it was so clear in their own lives in how they loved and put themselves aside for others.
We learned what it meant to be intentional about instruction to our children from Dan and Missy, of how to raise up a child up in the way he should go (Prov 22:6). They gave us children's bible story books and Focus on the Family cd's and books on raising, *ahem, headstrong children. Their own children are a testament to God's blessing--some of the most well behaved, polite, faith filled and loving children we know. That does not happen by accident, but through constant and loving attention as we observed in the way they brought them up.
Finally, we are simply grateful for God's gift of friendship. We can be ourselves with Dan and Missy; they never judge us and if there is any admonition, it is done gently and suggestively with great sensitivity and patient love. Every time we leave their house, we are built up and edified, never dejected or discouraged. Praying together, eating together, spending time together--it is a pure gift. To taste a little bit the good fruit of friendship the way God intended it here on earth...it is sweet indeed, for "a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity" (Prov 17:17).